America waits with de-bated breath for the third and final presidential smackdown next Wednesday in Tempe, Arizona. Forecasters expect the atmosphere to be heated, but considering the candidates involved and the desert environment, it should be a dry heat.
A quick recap of the first two debates:
In Miami, Florida, Governor Jeb Bush, who hadn't recused himself from anything since the election debacle four years ago, did so as big brother Dubya duked it out with Sen. John Kerry. The court of public opinion, which usually sits adjourned when it comes to meaningful political analysis, overwhelmingly named Kerry the winner. George W. Bush, meanwhile, came in third behind Kerry and one of the lecterns, confiding in his team later that he was thrown off by how often "stuff about Iraq" kept coming up and by Kerry's pronunciation of the word "nuclear."
The President, however, rebounded last Friday night in St. Louis where he made a concerted effort to WOO the tough-to-impress WWE crowd by throwing moderator Charlie Gibson into the turnbuckle and piledriving him, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka-style when Gibson tried to rephrase a question. Borrowing from Bush 1's infamous "Read My Lips" pledge from 1988, Sen. Kerry looked directly into the camera and said he wouldn't raise taxes on anyone who makes more than his wife's per diem. ABC News, the pool producer of the debate, apologized afterward when executives realized the closed captioning of Kerry's impassioned promise read: "At this point, I'm willing to look into the camera and promise each of you a French poodle if it will get me elected."
The fun continues in suburban Phoenix Wednesday with the final episode in this trilogy. While both sides are publicly expressing confidence, officials with the Commission on Presidential Debates (or CPD as its known by debate-niks) have confirmed that the Bush team, invoking the President's former ownership of an American League baseball team, asked if he could use "the guy who won all that money on Jeopardy!" as a designated hitter for the final debate. The 11th hour appeal was denied because the Diamondbacks play in the National League, but as a concession, Bush will be allowed to hold Alex Trebek's shaved moustache as a lucky charm.
Check back Thursday for a full review of the debate from Poll Position. And remember, we're always interested in your-analysis.
1 comment:
That may be true, since Trebek has come out of the closet as a conservative (at least as conservative as a Canadian can be). First Sajak and now Trebek, what is going on with these right-wing game show hosts?
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