Flip-Flop: The Home Game

I used to think there was nothing wrong with flip-flopping, but I'm now convinced you have to be a complete idiot to change your mind.

Still, when used properly, flip-flopping can be an effective divining rod for political spin. Here's what I mean. Take the issue du jour and reverse positions. If you can honestly imagine the candidates, parties, supporters, et al coming down on said issue in the exact same spot, then you can assume the individual is being true to his/her feelings. If not, you'll likely catch a whiff of some "Gross Domestic Product" (see previous post).

Hands on buzzers. Let's Flop!

Issue #1: Kerry referencing Mary Cheney in the third debate

Republican reaction: a cheap shot to remind undecideds that some GOP are GAY
Democrat reaction: everyone already knew there was something about Mary

FLIP-FLOP! Edwards had a homosexual child whose name Bush invoked in front of 60 million people

RR: he meant gay like "happy"
DR: the homophobe is showing his true color, and it's not pink

Issue #2: Bush's National Guard service

Republican reaction: the President served honorably
Democrat reaction: Bush fled Alabam' while our man was in 'Nam OR forget about Kinko's, our guy fought the pinkos

FLIP-FLOP! Bush went to war while Kerry stayed home

RR: another wimpy liberal
DR: not a single Viet Cong crossed the Alabama border

Issue #3: "I actually voted for the $87 billion before I voted against it" - Kerry

Republican reaction: Kerry achieves flip-flop nirvana
Democrat reaction: Kerry misspoke, Bush misled - which is worse?

FLIP-FLOP! Kerry voted against the war AND the $87 billion

RR: he made two bad decisions
DR: like we said, "wrong war, wrong place, wrong time"

Issue #4: We found Saddam but not his weapons

Republican reaction: the world is safer
Democrat reaction: a Walter Matthau look-alike in a spider hole was hardly a threat

FLIP-FLOP! We found WMDs but not Saddam

RR: who cares about that loser, we've got the goods
DR: who cares about the weapons, we need the guy

You can play this game with any issue, and that's exactly what the candidates and their operatives do. The winner gets what's behind door number 1600 on Pennsylvania Avenue. Loser gets a year supply of Turtle Wax. Which prize is better? Depends on whom you ask.