Please Vote For Me Anyway

The only thing worse than having a celebrity endorse your opponent, in some cases, is having them endorse you. To wit:

Eminem has now weighed in for John Kerry, helping the Senator shore up the all-important sex-crazed misogynist vote. With an admonition sure to go down in American history alongside "Give me liberty or give me death," the controversial rapper reminded us that "every mother****in' vote counts." Patrick Henry couldn't have said it better.

Former Minnesota Governor and professional wrestler Jesse Ventura also announced his support for Kerry, cutting heavily into the write-in campaign by WWE fans for "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Still, those two net losses for Kerry were offset by Pat Robertson, the televangelist and former Presidential candidate, who recounted to CNN's Paula Zahn a private conversation with President Bush in which the First W said there wouldn't be any casualties in Iraq. That was followed by a prediction of a Bush victory and Robertson telling Zahn he'd pray for her if she'd call The 700 Club and make a pledge.

The candidates are squirming in anticipation of tomorrow's endorsements from Joe Millionaire and Kato Kaelin.